what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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