if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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