yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
