just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
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Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
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Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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