I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
