he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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