She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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