used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize