please come you make the beer taste better
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
