It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
