oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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