weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Randomize
