No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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