I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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