Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
So many bounce houses so little time
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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