went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
