I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
