That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
