As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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