It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
