Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
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I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
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I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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