At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
