If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
