A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
