is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Randomize
