So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
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So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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