This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
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