Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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