Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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