So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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