Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
