im holly from the hills drunk
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
