like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
