So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
