i always forget guys have bellybuttons
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
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