think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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