FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
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this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
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The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
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