I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
