I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I've blown a few things in my day
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
