BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize