Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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