Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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