hotel room ftw
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize