I showed him my bush... on skype.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
