That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I FOUND THE LEGS
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
