I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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