she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
