im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
