Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
