and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Randomize
