awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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