South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
