I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize