somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize