Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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