Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
operation have a gay friend backfired
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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