Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Two words: blizzard sex
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
