The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
