overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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