Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Your mouth is God's brothel.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
