i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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