How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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